Should You Opt For Single Parenting?

Marriage is not always a guarantee that a family will stay together for a long time. This is because there are those who try their best to work it out but sometimes, no matter how hard they try, things won't work out anymore. In separation, two things are always considered an end result: a broken family and single parenting.

Many people opt to stay in a hurtful relationship for their kids. They feel that they need to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of keeping the family together. What they don't realize is that the more they stay in an unhappy relationship; they are just bringing more damage to their kids.

Contrary to common perception that separation is always bad to kids, experts say that it is not always the case because it depends on the gravity of the situation at home. For many kids, being raised by a single parent is more advisable because they don't have to witness arguments between their parents everyday. It is also good for them because it lessens their fear about being hurt by one of their parents when fights occur.

If you are one of those who would want to get out of an abusive relationship but the thought of single parenting scares you, now is the best time to assess the advantages and disadvantages of being in the relationship. You should weigh carefully what is the impact of being in that relationship for yourself and your child. Once you have assessed that being in a relationship brings more damage than good to you and to your child, and then now is the best time to consider your options well.

Determining the red flags

The best time to opt for single parenting is when you have finally weighed all the good and bad things in staying in that relationship. To know this, it would be best to watch out for the signs that you are being unhappy and of course, how your child acts and feels towards the family. Experts say that you should opt for single parenting when you:

- are generally tired of all the things that have been happening inside the house. You will feel that you are not happy when you are with your husband or wife and there's always tension when you are together.

- don't look forward to coming home and would prefer staying outside the house. This is common to those who cannot handle the things that going on inside the house and would prefer to be somewhere else.

- lose interest in your spouse. This is not because you are irresponsible but because you no longer see positive things in the family. Many don't realize that when they lose interest in their families, it's a sign that there is wrong in the relationship and it something needs to be done about it.

- feel the need that it is better to raise your child alone. This feeling stems from the fact that your care for your child and he or she doesn't deserve to be in a situation where there's always tension. If you feel that you can handle this responsibility alone, it's a positive indication that you are ready for single parenting.

An Overview of Single Parenting

A family is consists of father, mother, and child or children. The father plays the provider while the mother plays the nurturer of a family. But there are situations when one parent plays both the nurturer and the provider alone. It is a tough role but nowadays, single parenting is common and already acceptable in our society.

Single parenting defined

Single parenting is the practice of nurturing and raising your children without another adult equally involved in the process. In the United States alone, there are about 15 million single parents. Large percentage of these is composed of divorced or unmarried women, widows/widowers, surrogate mothers, or adopters. Women single parents are common than men. Throughout the world, single parenthood is more prevalent in the Western than Asian countries.

The difference between single-parent "family" and single-parent "household"

The practice of single parenting can be a single-parent "family" or single-parent "household." A single parent family is when there is only one parent and the other parent is completely out of the child's life. It can be through death, sperm donation, complete abandonment of one parent, or no contact is ever made with the other parent. On the other hand, a single-parent household is when one parent has primary custody of the child or children but the other parent not living in the house is still part of the child's family. A divorce case where the mother has the primary physical custody of the child is one example of a single-parent household.

According to a study by Rodgers in 1996, prevalence of single-parent "family" cases in the United States are caused by the changing social and cultural trends, presence of welfare benefits that allows women to set up their own households, higher rates of divorce and non marital childbearing, higher employment opportunities for women, and, lower employment opportunities for men.

Single mother by choice is a case of single-parent "family"

Single mother by choice is an option for women who want to practice single parenting. A popular example of a woman who choose single mother by choice is Academy Award-winning actress Jodi Foster. She is a proud parent of two children and without a husband. She believes that women like her have the viable option of single-parent "family." Single mother by choice is an option to women who are dedicated to motherhood, politically aware of their choice, financially responsible and mature. An organization for women who want to raise children of their own and who may want to marry and not to marry is Single Mothers by Choice. They can be reached through the website: singlemothersbychoice.com.

Single Parenting (Mother-only and Father-only cases)

According to figures, vast majority of single parenting cases are female-headed. Male-headed single parenting cases are commonly as a result of widowhood or mother refusing custody. In case of divorce, a father increases their chances of winning custody when they pay child support or when the children are older and chooses the father. However, both male and female agree that regardless of sex single parenting is a challenging family option.

How Did You Land Yourself In the Driver's Seat of Single Parenting?

Single parenting is the practice of raising children and building a family without a spouse or partner. As a choice of building a family, single parenting is now acceptable in our society. Some sociologist perceive the prevalence of single parenting as an alternative family form rather than a problem in society formation. Regardless of how it is perceived, the increase of families raised by one parent influences the social, economical, and political context of family life. The following are the common causes of single parenting:

1. Divorce - Single parenting due to divorce means that the divorced single parent will have the primary custody of the child or children. The single parent will do the major obligation of raising the child or children but the other parent can still be involved in the family.

The usual pattern after divorce is that the mother becomes the single parent (taking the major obligation of raising the children) while the father becomes the supporting parent. In the United States, five of every six single-parent households are headed by a mother. Fathers, are only given the custody and allowed to play the role of single parent if the parent is widowed, the mother deserted her child or children, or the mother refuses custody of her child. A mother may give up custody and award parenting to the father of child or children due to lack of financial resources, child's preference living with the father, inability to control or discipline children, threats of legal custody battles, and physical or emotional problems suffered by her.

2. Death - Single parenting due to widowhood may give a parent an unforeseen parenting obligation that will cause her to underwent difficult time of adjustment. Emotions like anger, denial, depression, bargaining, and later acceptance are common to widowed single parents. These negative emotions will largely affect parenting. Support of family and friends are important for the single parent to cope up with the changes in his or her family.

3. Early pregnancy - Raising a child alone during teenage period is tough. Teen single parents underwent stresses because of young age and inability to prepare for the future. Single parenting during teenage years usually happen to kids who are rebellious from their parents.

4. Adoption - Single parenting due to adoption is a viable option for single people who feel incomplete in life. However, loneliness should not be your sole motivation to choose single parenting. It could be a part of it but the desire to nurture and share life as a family should come first. In the United States, single parent adoptions is the fastest growing trend in the adoption field. Single parents due to adoption are usually single parents who work full-time, financially responsible and emotionally mature.

5. Donor insemination ' Single parenting due to donor insemination is the most controversial option for building a family today. Donor insemination is the process of achieving pregnancy through injection of semen into the reproductive tract of a female. Single mothers who choose to conceive children in this option include lesbians who wish to bear children. They may choose sperm donor from friends, relatives, acquaintances, or an unknown donor. If the sperm donor is known to the parent or child-bearer, a parent may take parental or avuncular roles relative to children conceived via DI, or may not.

Making Single Parenting More Manageable

Perhaps one of the hardest things to deal with when you've found yourself pregnant and alone is what comes after. Taking care of a child can be pretty overwhelming especially when you are young and not really ready for such a big responsibility. It will be a complete lifestyle change. In an instant, you will need to really grow up and become more mature. You will need to forget about partying and having a good time and instead focus on getting a job and ensuring that your child will be well-taken care of.

Your life as you know it as a young single individual will need to take a backseat to your child's future.

But though single parenting can seem pretty gloomy, it does not have to be so depressing. With the right attitude, you can make this experience a positive one, something that you can learn a lot from. Here are some ways that will help you make the journey of a young single mom much easier.

1. Get on with your life

There is no use getting mad at the cards fate had dealt you with. There is also no use trying to force somebody (aka your partner) to take responsibility when he clearly does not want to have anything to do with raising the child. The best way to start your life is to accept your fate and move on. You owe it to your child to be at peace with what happened and just make the best out of it. There is life after getting pregnant. You'll never have when you continue to cling to the past.

2. Join a support group

There is nothing more comforting than to know that you are not alone in this situation and that there are others who are also going through the same things that you are going through. When you think about it, it is pretty bad of people to feel happy when others are suffering too but it is a fact of life. We want to know that there are people who are also in the same boat.

A support group is also a wonderful way to meet people who can help you and give you advice. Remember that some of these people have already gone through what you are just starting to go through. They can give you great insights and refer you things that will make the experience easier.

3. Know your priorities

It is not impossible to get sidetracked for a while from your duties. You are young and because you have not really been able to enjoy life, you will probably miss singlehood. If you find yourself at this crossroad, just think about your baby and how his or her future depends on you. Mothers have instincts and as idealistic as it sounds, most will do the right thing and prioritize their children.

Just be clear about your priorities from the get go. That way, it will be a constant reminder for you during times when you get tempted to go back to your old ways.

Best Selling Books on Single Parenting

Single parenting is tough. It's like you are having two full-time jobs at once. Family and friends will probably come to you to offer advice, tips, and suggestions. Yet there will still be times when you'll doubt yourself if you can do parenting alone. The following self-help books might help you bring in the confidence you need to raise your child and build a family in a single parent family/household setting:

1. The Complete Single Mother: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Concerns by Andrea Engber and Leah Klungness, Ph.D. - Authored by two single mothers, this guidebook offers comprehensive and practical information that for single mothers to help them overcome daily challenges with courage and dignity. The book includes useful tips on how to manage finances, handle legal matters, plan career, enhance social life, reach out to support groups, and deal with family members.

2. Positive Discipline for Single Parents by Jane Nelsen - A positive, a classic and commonsense approach to instilling discipline in a single parent family, Positive Discipline for Single Parents is aimed at guiding parents in raising a responsible, respectful, and resourceful child. This book is co-authored by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D, a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist.

3. Head of Household: Money Management for Single Parents by Kara Stefan - Covering eleven primary concerns of single parent today, Head of Households is a definitive book on financial management in a single parent home. The book is written by a veteran financial writer who is as a single parent knows the financial pitfalls of raising a child and building a family alone. Combining her experiences as financial writer and single mother, the author created a resourceful, level-headed and hilarious guide a single parent will need in daily life.

4. Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman's Guide by Mikki Morrisette - Whether you are still thinking about being a single mother by choice or you are in the middle of a pregnancy/adoption, there will be moments where you will have doubts, worries, and fears of the life you are about to embrace. Choosing Single motherhood is the first comprehensive book especially made for single mothers by choice. The book features essential tools needed by moms in taking the big leap. The book is written by Mikki Morrissette, a longtime journalist and single mother by choice.

5. The Complete Single Father: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Situations - Whether you are a widower or divorced dad, single parenting will require you a fast learning curve. Written by a newly divorced dad and by the grandmother of his children, this book is a realistic, yet positive guide that offers information on how a single dad maintain a stable family with less stress involved. The Complete Single Father book contains specific research material from family lawyers, marriage counselors, psychologists, social workers, teachers, and members of the clergy.

Another special feature of this book is the Tips from the Trenches section where divorced or widowed dads share their messes and successes in being single parents.

Dealing With The Trials of Single Parenting

No doubt about it. Single parenting is hard. Even with a partner, raising a child is tough, what more when you have to do it alone?

But this is a situation that single parents have to face whether they like it or not. They are responsible for a child and even though this is a situation that they do not really want or have expected, they have no choice but to face it.

Early Responsibility

One of the hardest parts perhaps in being a single parent is to make sure that your child is well provided for. If you do not have the support of your parents, this can be hard, even impossible. You need to rent a house and pay for food, milk and diapers. Some, especially those who have to work, also need to pay for babysitting services. There are also the child equipment like a crib, a play mat and a stroller, not to mention the toys and books that they need to enrich their brain and enhance their learning.

And when the child grows up, you will also need to pay for their education from preschool to college. That is of course still decades from now but it is also something that you have to consider and plan for. Remember also that kids do not have medical insurance. You need to pay for their medical bills should they get sick. Being the single breadwinner in the family, some single parents take on two to three sometimes even four jobs just to be able to make both ends meet and have some savings for the future.

Others however are still in denial. They still cannot accept that they already have responsibilities. These are the ones who lead single lives despite having a kid. They still go to parties and have a good time even when they have a kid to take care of.

Loneliness

Another trial of being a single parent is the loneliness. This is especially true for those who have not received any support from their parents or from any relatives. Basically, single parents in this kind of situation only have their children as partner and this can be an awfully sad and lonely existence for anyone. Some single parents, who cannot take the loneliness, cope with it by establishing a super close relationship with their child, which can be too constricting for the growing child. These are the parents who are too strict and are overprotective. Others seek for comfort outside the home by going out on dates and searching for a partner. This however can also backfire because the relationship with the child can suffer.

Stigma

Although it is already something that we see every day, there are still communities that frown upon early pregnancy before marriage. Single parents often have to deal with the social stigma. This can be a problem because it is another stressor that you do not really need to have. Some young single parents move to cities or leave their towns to start a new life.

Advice on Surviving Single Parenting

No one wishes to be a single parent but circumstances sometimes dictate that you take on responsibilities that you have not expected. For single parents who have chosen to raise their children alone, the burden is not as hard as with the burden of a single parent whose partner left them with the responsibility. It is also much easier to handle if the single parent have the support of their parents, their relatives, their friends and the whole community as opposed to those who have to move to another place to start anew because of social stigma. It is also easier to handle if you have the support of the partner as with those who get alimony from a divorce or those being supported by a partner that is assigned in another country to work.

But whatever the situation is that led you to this kind of responsibility, the same thing is true: you are in charge of a child and you must do everything that you can to ensure that he will have a good future and that he will grow up with values. This is a hard task, a pretty daunting task, whether you are just a high school graduate or newly widowed. It requires strength of will, patience and real 'want' to make things work out. If you are ready for the responsibility and you are willing to do anything in your power to take care of the child, no task is hard. Below are some tips on how to make single parenting more manageable.

1. You should know your priorities. If you are focused on one goal, it will be easier for you to plan your actions and avoid temptations.

2. Accept your fate and just make the best out of it. There is really no use complaining about how hard it is or even thinking on how hard it is going to be in the future. You just have to focus on the now and make sure that your child is well provided for.

3. Never be afraid to ask for help. You cannot take on the responsibility on your own. Ask for help whether from your parents or from organizations that help single parents like you. Check your community or your state for listings of organizations for single parents.
4. Don't think that you cannot do it. Believe in yourself and in what you can do. When you let fear get the best of you, you will not be able to survive this challenge.

5. Join a support group. Having people who have gone through the same things on your side is one secret to surviving single parenting alive. These people can give you advice on all kinds of stuff. You can even help each other out when it comes to taking care of the children.

6. Have faith. Having God on your side will help you go through every trial. It is comforting to know that you have somebody by your side and that you are not really all alone.

3 Things To Do When Dating As A Single Parent

If you think that Cupid has given up on you just because you have a kid that you have to take care of, think again. Dating when you are a single parent is possible. In fact, there are a lot of single parents out there who have managed to find second chances with great guys and gals. Besides, single parenting now is accepted by society and it is no longer an issue if you already have a kid. If it becomes a problem, then the person doesn't really deserve your attention, much more your devotion.

Don't get me wrong. It will have its tough moments. You will probably have problems with your schedules and yes, you will probably need to learn how to juggle your time and keep your priorities straight but you can make it work. All it takes is a clear mind and a ready heart. Here are some tips on how to make dating a success.

1. Make sure that you are ready

You have gotten burned and the person who you thought loved you before have turned their back on their responsibility and left you to deal with it. Single parents can have scars too and that means a lot of baggage to deal with. Remember that you already have one baggage'your child'that a potential partner has to deal with. Don't add another one by springing in some commitment and love issues. If you are not yet ready, do not force it. Love will come naturally when the world feels that you are ready to be in a relationship again.

2. Be serious

When you are a single parent, you just do not have the time to play games anymore. So when you go out on a date, it should be the real thing or don't do it at all. Take the dating scene very seriously in the sense that you will only go out with people that you feel you can have lasting relationships with. In short, you are dating for keeps and not just coasting along. Most single parents who date actively seek out for potential mates and it is there that they get into trouble. Although it is good to find someone who you can depend on, going out on dates with random people that you've met in bars are just not going to cut it. If you just want to have a great time and are just using the excuse of 'finding a mother or father figure' for your kid, give yourself the reality check. Your kid needs you more than they need a mother or a father figure.

3. Be honest

One of the mistakes that some single parents do when they date is they don't tell right off that they have a child to take care of. They wait until the dating has become serious before revealing that little tidbit. Remember that not everybody will be open to the idea and you will save yourself a lot of heartache if you reveal it at the start.

Single Parenting-Wearing Many Hats

Raising children is hard. Not only do you need to teach them the right set of values and help them grow to be good responsible adults, you also need to provide for their every needs and even pay for their education. For a couple, this is already difficult. How many times have we heard of stories of couples not sleeping at night because they need to take care of their baby? How many times have we heard stories of parents complaining about their financial situation? Between having to pay for the house rent and paying for medical check-ups and milk, taking care of a kid can be very expensive. But what more if you are the only one bearing the responsibility? How hard can it be?

Single parenting is a reality in the United States and even all over the world. More and more people are taking care of their babies on their own. People now no longer see marriage as a requirement and a necessity when there's a baby. Now, they can choose to raise their babies together or alone. For some, raising them alone is a better choice. Although it is hard, there is little heartbreak involved here because it is their choice to raise their babies alone.

This is especially true for those who have gotten pregnant by accident. Often, these single parents are young mothers who are either in high school or in college. Some are also already working. For young single parents like these, the support of their parents are crucial as well as the community in general. Although it is a reality that we see everywhere, some communities especially in small towns still look down on young mothers or fathers.

More and more couples are also deciding to separate for various reasons and often, the task of raising the child falls on either of the partner. This is not only because they want to but because it is also not good for the child to be constantly uprooted. Children, while they are growing up, need a stable home environment. For these people, single parenting is a lot easier because the responsibility is shared by both partners even if the child lives with only one.

Some are not so fortunate though. For some, it is not even a choice but a fact of life because the other partner does not take responsibility anymore. These are the partners who have decided to turn their backs on their parental duties and have lived single lives. For their partners, the task of taking care of the child is even harder because there is no support from the other partner and because it is also not their choice to assume the responsibility alone, this can be a pretty hard situation to be in.

This can happen to those who have gotten pregnant before marriage or those who have gotten married and then got divorced. Again, for these people, the support of their parents, their friends and the community in general is very important.

Get Prepared for Single Parenting

Many people don't realize that single parenting is not all that bad. There are also good things in it if they look past the hurt and the pain brought by the separation.

To those who are on the process of recovery from a failed relationship and is looking forward to raising their kids on their own, the best thing to do is to learn how to let go of the past. Experts say that this is the best way to move on because if you will just keep thinking of the past, this will serve as a reminder of your failure. And if you keep thinking about your defeat, you will undergo a never ending cycle of blaming yourself for the things that you did not really opted to do.

If you want to start with your new life with your child, try to finish each day and forgive yourself for the things that you were not able to accomplish. If you were able to do that, you will look forward to a new day and new opportunities that will come along your way in your journey.

The road to successful single parenting

Separation means that the whole family falls apart. But, more than yourself, you should now focus on your child who is more affected by the separation. This is because there is the tendency for the child to lose his or her sense of security since the parents are going on separate ways. If you have your children with you, the best way to be the best single parent is to:

- build better relationship with yourself. Many people still don't realize that problems would be a constant factor in their lives. And because of this inability to understand and accept certain situations, people just give up the chance to a better life. Experts say that challenges such as facing single parenting are among the factors that kill the people's desire to be motivated. But, you should not let this get the better of you. To ensure that you will be strong in facing the challenges of a single parent, it is best to build better relationship with yourself.

- build better relationship with your kids. Dealing with single parenting would be easier if you teach your kids to have positive outlook in life. As soon as possible, you can teach your children to have a positive outlook in life. This can be done by developing his or her sense of self-independence and self-sufficiency. It is also best to teach you're your child to have a positive outlook in life by exposing him or her to different things. It would also help if you explain your own experiences with him or her to help the child develop more positive strategies especially in dealing with problems.

- don't close communication lines and burn bridges. Although you and your spouse have gone separate ways, you will always be connected by your child. This makes you two always be a part of each other's life. Once all the pain has gone, try to forgive one another for sake of the child. This will also help you heal wounds and move on totally.

Is Single Parenting Ever Best For Your Child?

As years went by, there are a growing number of kids that are products of single parenting. This is result of the increasing number of marriages that have failed and of course, of all the relationships that didn't work out.

Many people'whose relationships are on the rocks'don't realize it yet that single parenting would be the best option for their child rather than placing them in an environment where there is tension everyday. Aside from their personal growth, experts say that one of the areas where the child is greatly affected by constant fighting inside the house is his or her schooling.

If you are one of those parents who would not want their kid's schooling to be affected so much by being in an unhappy relationship then now is the best time to opt for single parenting. Not many parents know that schooling has become less and less friendlier for kids. And though there are better classrooms and teachers, this doesn't change the fact that there is more pressure that is placed on the kid's shoulder. Given this set up, it would not help if the child lives in an environment where there is animosity.

Seeing the signs

If you are centered on the welfare of the child, it would be best to make his or her as the top priority of your life. If you feel that being in a relationship no longer helps your child to be better, then you might want to raise the child on your own. Experts say that single parenting would be best for the child if he or she shows:

- persistent frustration. This is the major sign of kids who are losing interest in school due to pressure brought by the people around him or her. At first, this may be vague and can be mistaken as tantrums but eventually, this behavior will become more and more noticeable because it will manifest in other things as well as places not only at school but outside the home as well.

- failed grades and repeated failure in completing school works. This is a very alarming symptom of the child who is greatly affected by constant fighting of his or her parents. Experts say because this shows that the problem at home affects his or her everyday function in school. If nothing is done this early, it may manifest to other destructive behaviors of the child.

- extreme struggle in staying in one task. This is one of the worst effects of having parents that argue everyday because this leads to decrease on confidence of the child. If the child loses his or her confidence, he or she would not be able to complete anything thinking that nobody will be there to guide him or her.

- tends to ignore people and the things that they say. Experts say single parenting is the best option for kids if you and your partner are on the verge of separation. When the child no longer pay attention to what others say and generally lose interest in school and in other aspects of his or her life, then now is the best time for you to extend help.

Dealing With School As A Single Parent

Being raised by a single parent can affect kids' performance in school. This is because they are given less time and guidance by their parents. However, experts say that despite single parenting, a child can still perform well in school given proper monitoring and support.

Attending the child's needs in school

These days, many children find schooling challenging because of harder subjects and demanding time. But, the present school set up can be more to those kids who are being raised by single parents.

If you are a single parent and you don't want your child get affected by your separation, you should exert more effort in helping them especially in dealing with their assignments. This is very important for the kids because they will feel that they can lean on people during their tough times. Helping them with their school tasks will also show how much they are loved and supported to be better individuals.

For single parents who want to help their kids in school and achieve their maximum potentials in the future, you should be starting as early as now. Aside from making sure that you help him or her with difficult assignments, you should always:

- ask the child about his or her day in school. Before asking what the assignment is or if the child performed well in school, it is best of you his or her how the day at school went. The answer of your child will determine how you will deal with his or her mood when making assignments. If your child had a bad day, it is best to calm him or her nerves down a little by letting the child do what she or he wants to do like watching TV, sleeping or eating. Once the child was able to do something that she or he really wants there will be greater cooperation and enthusiasm when it comes to finishing assignments.

- be sensitive to the capacity of the child. Experts say that there is no such thing as an idiot child when it comes to school. It's just that his or her intelligence may lie some field else that he or she and even the parents themselves have yet to discover. For single parents to have better performing kids in school, it is best to be sensitive to what she or he can attain. Don't force the child do understand or do something that he or she really doesn't know or cannot perform. Never tell the child that he or she is never good enough because the child will believe it and he or she will no longer exert effort to try harder.

- prepared whenever the child asks for help. Compared to others, single parenting is harder when it comes to attending to the needs of kids in school. This is because the parents might not have enough time or strength to help their kids out. To ensure that helping the child in his or her assignments, it would be best to prepare your very own lesson plans.

Yes You Can Date If You Are A Single Parent

When you think about it, single parents have so much on their plates that they should not even be allowed to have a relationship. After all, between work and taking care of their children, their 24 hours is not even enough to complete both jobs. But humans have a need for affiliation and romantic relationships are great ways to de-stress and renew your spirit. If you have found a great guy by chance and you feel that they will be a great partner for you, why not give it a shot?

Remember though that you are not dating around here and that you have just met someone you feel you can be serious with. That is what puts some single parents out there in the dating scene in trouble. They date around and actively seek for partners. You just do not have the time for this 'single' stuff. It will not only eat your time with your kid, you will also be subjecting the kid to different men or women and that is not a good example to show them. In the situation that you are in, your priority should always be your child and no one else.

If you find love along the way, good for you but you do not actively seek for it. You do not go out every night and flirt with guys. You do not spend nights with random men in search of men who can become your partner. You do not spend the nights with your girlfriends partying when you should be at home with your child. As painful as this sounds, you lost the right to act single when you got pregnant and bore a child.

Single parents should only date when they met somebody by chance and felt in their gut that they can be serious with that person or when the person is recommended by a friend and therefore, a date that is already filtered. If it is some random guy or gal that you do not really know and have no initial feelings for, better save your effort for another one. Single parents can date but only when it is already serious and if the potential partner is also looking for something serious. If not, don't.

You should also watch out for your schedule. It is not good to do it constantly because remember that your child needs you too. A once-a-week date is good but more than that can be a problem except of course when you can bring the date over to the house but that of course can happen only when you have already dated the guy or the gal for a long while now.

Dating while you are a single parent is okay but only if you know your priorities and you have the control to stick by it. Otherwise, just focus on your child and wait until you are mature enough to handle both a relationship and your child at the same time.

Artificial Inseminatino and Single Parenting

Adoption is one way to become a single parent. However, to raise a child not biologically yours sometimes poses problems especially when it comes to instilling discipline. The adoption can also be a difficult process to some parents as adoptable babies or children are now hard to find. Another option for single parenting is by donor insemination or the use of medical technology for a woman to bear a child. The following are helpful information on donor insemination:

Donor insemination is the process of conceiving a child through the use of medical technology. It is done by injecting the semen to the uterus of a female. The semen donor may be known to you or not. Laws in the United States about the donor identity vary. For example, in California, Ohio, and Wisconsin, a known donor releases himself from legal responsibility if the procedure of DI is done with a physician's involvement. In Colorado and New York, a known donor may assert parental rights; however, it is unclear if a court would impose any responsibilities on a known donor in the two states.

According to a study, the reason why many single women choose to bear a child by donor insemination is because they feel they are running out of time to fulfill the lifelong dream of having a child. If you are in the thirties, this kind of feeling is not uncommon to you. Waiting for Mr. Right to come along and being able to conceive a much-wanted child may be one of the issues that press you especially if you are already established in your career.

Donor insemination allows you to become biologically and emotionally connected with your child. This connection will help you a lot in child rearing especially because you will be dealing with parenting alone. Adoption can sometimes be complicated. Some single moms who had tried adoption before having a child by donor insemination say that finding for the "right" baby is a tough process.

Single parenting by donor insemination is a nontraditional way to build a family and many child and family experts are studying its effect on the well-being of a child. Among of the issues that may affect children is the conception method used in the insemination. There are options in choosing a donor: through known donor, directed donor, an anonymous donor and open-identity. Each of these options poses unique situation for a child to deal with. In a known donor option, a child is given the opportunity to know about his genetic identity and medical history. It can be more complicated than other options but some mothers feel better about knowing who is the child's father is.
A directed donor on the other hand allows the mother and donor protection from custody and support issues. It tends to give greater legal protection for the mother and donor but the greatest legal protection is given through an anonymous donor. However, a child is still given some options in dealing with few potential identity issues. The last option is the open-identity donor. It gives a child a fair and just entitlement to choices - to contact the donor after the age of 18.

Sometimes the child has no interest in knowing his or her roots but nevertheless, the mother's choice of donor is based on the understanding that one day an offspring will be curious about his identity.

Tackling Teenagers as a Single Parent

Many parents'who have raised their children through single parenting'say that teenagers are the ones that are hard to deal with. This is because they tend to be rebellious and demand for so much explanation when it comes to things as compared with younger kids.

Experts agree that single parenting is much more difficult since parents have to deal with their children who have more issues, questions, and insecurities. There is a great this for this to be addressed properly since young adults are prone to depression that may lead to full blown teen rebellion.

When single parenting is not effective, many issues among teenagers can pile up along with their sadness over the separation. This is because they feel they are being ripped off with people who they feel they can depend on and would give them for support.

Parenting young adults on your own

Studies show that one of the major reasons why there are many single parents who have teen rebels is because the latter feel that they are neglected and somehow abandoned by his or her parents. Because of this mistrust, many of them tend to keep issues on their own and wait until they can no longer handle it.

To be successful in single parenting, it is a must that parents have explained very well to the teenager the real reasons behind the separation for them to gain self-confidence that is crucial for their growth. The best way to explain the separation is by treating them like mature individuals.

Experts say that this is very important for them because they will feel that they are old enough to understand the issues that old people go through. Since they have lots of issues, it would be better to take things slowly and explain the reasons one day at a time.

You can start by explaining the real reason for the break up without having to blame anybody. Then, you can some personal feelings on the separation. Once you got hold of his or her interest, you can try explaining the advantages of the single parenting like being able to give more time to her since your attention won't be divided anymore. And, you can also try discussing the disadvantages of forcing parents stay together such as frequent arguments and constant fights. To make single parenting easier, one should exert more effort in:

- becoming patient and sensitive. If you notice that the mood of your teenager constantly fluctuates or if he or she loses the drive to do something, it is time to ask what's wrong and avoid further complications.

- keeping the communication lines open. This is important because it's an avenue to assure your teenager of your love and support. Opening the lines of communication can also help the teenager to cope up with sadness he or she feels whenever you're not around.

- being a role model. Showing your teenager positive approaches in dealing with single parenting can help him or her acquire those methods when he/she has to deal with other related issues.

Attention Divorced Single Moms-Follow These Tips

Single parenting when unexpected is tough and few moms are really prepared of the responsibility that comes with it. As a single mom, it is your duty to play both the role of a father and a mother which means more responsibilities than you ever had before. To cope up with this, you need to believe in yourself and your ability to get through every obstacle that will come along. Coupled with the loving support of your family and friends, you will eventually see that parenting in a one-parent family is not all difficulties and stress but joys and rewards as well. Here are some tips that can help you survive the life of single parenting:

1. How to get through over guilt - As a single parents it is likely for you to have moments of insecurity about your ability to raise your children alone. Feelings of guilt, regret, or even frustration are part of your unsuccessful attempt of giving your children a complete family. However, you must not let these negative emotions overpower you or else your children will also have unhealthy relationships towards you and other people.

2. How to provide make role models for your child - Experts say that it is important for single parents to expose their children to other positive men like their grandpa or their uncles. This allows children to feel that they can still receive the love and attention they would normally get from their fathers.

3. How to seek child support - Your child deserves every kind of support from you and his father. Seeking a child's support is not a way to get back at his father but a way to help you support your child. If a father refuses a child support, you can ask for government's help. Many States are adopting laws to prevent delinquent parents running away from their responsibilities.

4. How to maintain a civil relationship with your child's father - Experts advice that it is your responsibility as a parent to keep the lines of communication open and maintain a civil relationship with your child's father. You must maintain your cool and learn to compromise to allow a good father-child relationship.

5. How to answer when the child asks about the father - There will come a time when your child asks about his other parent. It is scaring but as a mother it is your responsibility to answer questions regarding his father and your household situation honestly and specifically as possible. You need to reassure your child that despite of the circumstances, both of his parents love him or her.

6. How to remind your child of his father - Even if a child's father can't play an active role in a child's life it is still vital to keep his memory in the child's mind. Encourage your child to nurture his relationship with his dad by constantly reminding something good about his father like a beautiful voice or an enjoyable bonding game they enjoy.

7. Ways to reach out to support networks - Swallowing a little pride and confiding some of your concerns to your family and friends will lighten your parental load. It will also help if you let your family and friends bond with your kids on special occasions or on weekends. For single parenting support groups within your community, you may check: singleparentsnetwork.com or singlemom.com.

Tips for Surviving Single Parenting

Single parenting is a reality that some people have to go through. Most of the single parents out there are women although there are also a few single dads. Some of these single parents have borne their children when they were still young while others were the product of the divorced courts. A few became single parents because their partners are working abroad. Others have been widowed. Whatever the circumstances that caused the situation, the result is still the same: an extremely difficult situation. Single parents are basically doing the work that two people should be doing. This is especially true with those who are raising their children on their own without getting any support from their partners. This is hard to take both financially and emotionally. So what can they do to survive it? Here are some tips that will help all the single parents out there.

1. Accept the situation

This is the first step in making it alive and stronger from this situation. Accepting the situation is easier for those who have actually chosen to raise their kids on their own without any support from their partners or to those who still receive support but are not living with their partners but for those whose partners turned their back on them, this is much harder to take. Some will even come to resent the responsibility for a time because after all, why should they be stuck with a child when their partners are living the easy life? But eventually reality will catch up with them. Once they learn to accept the situation and make the best out of it, they will begin to feel the situation becoming easier to handle.

2. Get help

In raising your child, you do not just need the support of your partner and if they don't want to take responsibility for the child, do not force the issue. Instead work on your relationships with your parents, relatives and friends. You can also get some help from the community. There are a lot of organizations out there that help single parents. Some offer free babysitting services or a free play group class for parents who need to work and have no one to leave their child with. Some organizations also provide financial help to single parents.

3. Share your experience

One of the ways to really survive single parenting is to share your experience with other single parents and be part of a community. Knowing that there are other parents out there who are also sharing your ordeal makes it easier for you to deal with it. Also, meeting other single parents is a great way to network and to find support. Some single parents who are part of a support group constantly help each other out through babysitting duties or carpools or even tutorial sessions. Actually, just knowing that you have people that you can rely on is reward enough for any single parent.

Single parenting is tough but it does not have to be hard. You just need to know how to deal with the situation.

Dating and Single Parenting-A How To Guide

Just because you are a single parent and your first priority is your child does not mean that you should forget about your needs too. We all need to feel that we are loved and that we have someone we can depend on. This is especially true for single parents who are singlehandedly raising their children with minimal or no support. Single parents can definitely date but they must know their priorities and have firm rein on their self-control. They must also know when something is appropriate and when something is not. They need to get ready though because the scheduling can be hard and there is also the added stress of juggling both the problems of being in a relationship (and there will be problems, I tell you! Every relationship has them.) and raising your child alone. Here are some ways to make dating easier for you.

Be honest

Right at the get go, be honest with your date and tell them that you are a single mother or a single dad. Trust me, you will be saving yourself a lot of time and heartache if you say this at the start. Some people are just not ready for a commitment with people who already have responsibilities. Remember that they will need to not only relate to you should the relationship continue, they will also need to relate to the kid. It's going to be a package deal and for some this can be pretty scary. So save yourself the waste and tell them right off.

Set the ground rules

You need to be clear about what your priorities are and it should be on your child and on no one else's. That way, you will be in control of the situation and you know when you should rein in your actions. When the situation progresses from dating to a relationship, it is also good to be clear with the ground rules with your partner. This will minimize any discord and misunderstandings between you two. With him or her knowing where their place is, things will be a lot easier to deal with.

Involve the child later

Although it is not good to involve the child at the early stages of the dating because he or she might be exposed to potential father or mother figures that will quickly disappear as they have appeared; when things become serious, it is good to involve the kid. This way you will be able to test if you all can be a family together and if your child is okay with the idea. For those who have raised their kids singlehandedly from the time of their baby's birth, this should not be a problem but for those whose children experienced the attention of a father or a mother, wooing them to the idea of having another one can be a challenge.
Dating when you already have responsibilities is tough but if you play your cards right, you might end up juggling the two together well.

Keeping The House Safe As a Single Parent

Compared to married persons, who live with their husbands or wives under one roof, keeping a home safe is more difficult to those who are single parents. Aside from being alone in taking care of everything inside the house, single parenting is also more prone to crimes because they don't have husbands or wives to protect them in their own homes.

More than men, single moms are prone with are thief or burglary and rape or sexual abuse. Single moms are more prone to crimes such as sexual abuses and even rape because they are all alone in their homes most of the time. Single dads might also be victims of losing their properties inside their houses because thieves think that they are always out for work.

For single parents to keep their kids, homes and lives safe, they should:

- always check their doors and windows. To avoid theft when you're away, make sure that all of your windows and doors have locks. You also have to check these locks once in a while to ensure that they are all working and functioning properly. Before leaving the house, always double check if all the windows are securely fastened and the doors are all locked. This will ensure that burglars cannot enter easily because all the possible entry points are bolted and locked. If you have sliding glass doors, always keep a piece of plywood or a rod made of metal in the track while you install vertical bolts. The metal rod or plywood as well as the vertical bolts will make forcible entry in your home.

- ensure that the lights are on. If you leave the house'especially at night'it is advisable to keep the lights on. This will create the false impression that you or somebody else is at home. Aside from the lights, you can also leave your television set and radio on. Just make sure that they all have timers and they are set at specific time of your arrival. Setting the timer of these appliances will also ensure that they will not cause fire if they are left turned on for a long period of time.

- ask your neighbor to use your parking space while you are away. By having your parking space occupied by your neighbor, potential burglars will hesitate to enter your house and steal your properties because they know that you are present.

- trim shrubs that are too tall. Shrubs that keep in the way such as entrances or walkways will make it hard for you to escape when an offender gets into your house.

- join in a community watch program in your neighborhood. One of the burdens of single parenting is that your safety even at home is at stake since you are all alone with your kid. Although it's worrisome, you can overcome this fear by joining a community watch program in your area because the people in this group can help you once a burglar or an offender attacks you and your home.

The First Steps In Single Parenting

Single parenting has becoming some sort of a trend in most countries in the world. Some say it's bad because it destroys the very basic unit of any society while others believe that it's a good sign that people now know how to decide for themselves.

The advantages and disadvantages of being a single parent could go on and on. But, people should not forget that separation is not just about two people going separate ways. It should be more focused on dealing with what is left of the family and taking care of the rest.

To those who have the custody of the children with them, being prepared and getting started with single parenting is a must the soonest possible time. This is because the adult's readiness will determine if he or she is fit to be the guardian of the child. Also, being prepared will somehow serve as an indicator how well the child would live his or her life.

Starting out right

Many mothers and fathers, after going through separation, lose their drive in becoming a good parent. This is because they have yet to deal with their own issues, making them vulnerable to any emotional baggage and possible hardships that single parenting might bring.

Experts say that the best way to get started with single parenting is to address small issues and simple tasks with the child. Although parenting might come easy for others, there are those who cannot get their acts together especially if they have been so dependent with their previous partner when it comes to raising the child. For parents like these, it would be better to start off with small and simple goals to achieve with their child. If you start small and simple, you will be able to accomplish more goals the easier way.

Another thing that can help you get started with single parenting is to continue learning. This signifies your desire to move on and look forward to a brighter future ahead of you and your child. If you continue learning new things, you will be able to acquire new skills that can help you achieve the goals you have set for yourself and for your kid. Learning different things will also open you up to other opportunities. Experts say that continuous exploration will help single parents know what is in store for them.

Single parents should also aim for success in their new situation. This is important not to pressure yourself with things that you feel you cannot do yet. If you feel that you can't work and be a parent simultaneously, you have to find a way to provide for your child's needs while you are being a full-time single parent. If this won't work, you should never stop finding a set up that would work best for you and your child.

To be able to develop the best single parenting formula that would work for you and your child's needs, you should always be positive on your outlook in life. It is best to clear your mind from negative thoughts so you can think clearly. Once you have done this, you will have an idea where to start and you can also talk to your child how to go about it.

Are You Ready for Single Parenting?

So you've gotten pregnant and you have decided to raise your child on your own or you have recently gotten divorced and you want your child to come live with you. These are admirable things to do because you are assuming responsibility for the child and that's good' but it is also a tough situation to be in. This is especially true if your partner is not going to be supporting your child or be there at least a few days a month to assume his or her responsibility.

No doubt, single parenting is tough. It is hard to raise a child as it is without having to do it on your own but single parenting is a reality that we all have to deal with and make the best of. For those who have recently found themselves in the single parenting situation, here are a few things that you must get ready for. This is not meant to scare you off your responsibility or to make you feel upset or depressed; it is meant to make you understand what you are going into so that you will be ready for the challenges ahead.

1. Financial situation

This is perhaps what most single parents are having problems with. Remember that you do not only have to take care of yourself. You have another person to feed and raising children can be pretty expensive. Babies will require milk and special foods and equipment. When they are toddlers, they will need to attend play school and have books that will start off their learning. And if you are basically raising your child alone without any support from your parents or from anyone, you will probably also need babysitters while you which can cost a fortune when you rack all the amounts. Financially, raising a child can be a killer and it is not going to be easy as they grow up.

2. Time

As mentioned before, if you do not have people who can take care of them while you are at work, this can be a problem. You will need to balance your time or check your schedule and find out how you can work around your baby's needs. Some mothers stop work altogether to take care of their babies during their first few months but others who cannot afford to lose their job leave them with babysitters. Time can be a problem especially with moms who are working two to three jobs just to make both ends meet.

3. The father or the mother figure

As your child grows, they will also need the influence of another gender. They need a mother or a father figure that they can look up to. If you live with your parents or live with roommates of the opposite sex, this will not be a problem but what if you are living alone? One thing to do is to make it a point to always bring your child in contact with other people. Let them socialize with children and adults.

Preparing for Single Parenting

These days, it is inevitable for some couples'despite being married for quite some time and have had kids'to part ways. This separation has paved the way for more and more adults to raise their kids through single parenting.

Ideally, raising a child should involve the mother and the father since they could attend to the different needs of the child. But when there is no way to mend the failing relationship, it would be best to opt for single parenting than to sacrifice not only one's emotional health but of the child as well.

If you are one of those who has just went through separation and you have the child in your custody, now is the best time to gear up for single parenting. This is to ensure that the child will grow up to be an independent and responsible human being despite losing a mother or a father.

Where to start

Above all else, single parents should make their kids the priority. Of course, there is a need to work and cater to the financial needs but this is not reason enough for one not to become an effective single parent.

Experts say that the first thing that single parents should attend to is their own emotional needs. Since there is a need for them to be strong for the child, it is a must that they have dealt with their own issues first. To do this, any single parent should be inspired to continue living despite being separated from the ones they have been with.

It is also a must for single parents to be motivated for this will keep them moving. Studies show that many adults become responsible single parents because they have motivated themselves to look for positive things that the situations brought them. It is believed that effective single parenting will follow once the parent'mother or father'was able to find his or her source of motivation in achieving goals that they have set not only for themselves but for the children as well.

For you to become an effective single parent, it is a must that you undergo lots of reflection and self-assessment to know what are your strengths and your weaknesses. If you know your strengths as a parent, your child will see that in you and will believe that you can take care of him or her even if you are alone. It is also a must to address your weaknesses for you to know what are the areas in parenting that should improve on. If you know your own weaknesses as a parent, you can turn these into opportunities that will make single parenting successful for you and for your child.

To those who are getting started in single parenting, the first thing that you need to do is to set your mind into it. If your mindset is that you would want to become an effective and sufficient parent for your child, raising a kid single handedly will be bliss for you.

Surviving Single Parenting

Single parenting can be a tough thing to face. This is especially true for people who got into the situation by accident and therefore are not yet ready for the responsibility that they will need to assume. Taking care of a child can be pretty daunting, all the more when this young fellow depends on you for everything'for food, shelter and even education in the future. You have your work cut out for you and for some people this can be pretty daunting.
But don't get overwhelmed. Like every challenge that you will need to face in life, there are ways to getting around it and finally overcoming it. You may not be a situation that you can solve right off and get rid of but you can certainly make it easier and more manageable. Here are three things that you can do to survive single parenting.

Join a support group

Just knowing that there are people like you who are also going through the same things is very comforting. So check your community for some support group for young single parents like you.

Joining a support group is also a wonderful way to learn from the experience of other people. And because you are still young and are just starting out, having people who have already gone through what you are just going through right now can help you a lot. They can give you advice or refer you to people who can help.

Often people who are in the same support groups also band together and help each other out. It is like having a second family, with people that you can depend on for help.

Have a strong and close relationship with your child

Your child is your partner now. He or she is the only person that you can depend on, the same way that you are the only one he or she can depend on. Establish a close and loving relationship with your child while he or she is still young. You will be glad when you did this when they grow up.

Know your priorities

Be clear on who your priority is and set some ground rules for your behavior. It should be your child of course and maybe your career, which you need in order to provide well for your child. By knowing your priorities and having clear-cut goals, you will be constantly reminded of what you should be doing. This will come in handy during moments when you are tempted to turn back on your responsibility or just give up.

Give yourself time to heal

You have been burned. Don't go rushing and looking for love right off. Give yourself time to heal and to find yourself again. Going back on the dating scene for the mere reason that you want to find another mate is a no-no. For now, make your child your life and just face that aspect in your life when the right time comes. And when is that? You'll know when.

Single Parenting-Try These Tips

Many relationships fail these days that result to single parenting.

Some say because of so many options people have when it comes to choosing their partners. While others agree that the busy schedule brought by the modern times is the major culprit. No matter what the reasons are for separation of couples who have kids, there is no reason for anybody to be an irresponsible parent.

Contrary to common perception that single parenting is a burden'because the parent who has the custody of the child will shoulder all the responsibilities in raising the child'being a single parent can be fun, too! This is because there will be nobody to consult when it comes to raising the child. Next is that more time can be spent to attend to all the needs of the child'at home and inside the school.

Surviving single parenting

After separation, the couple concerned is not the only ones that are affected. Aside from family and friends, the persons who will be most affected would be the children. Experts say that kids'regardless of their ages'could be greatly affected by any form separation. These effects would depend on attitude of the child towards life. But, the success in this lies mainly on how parents help the child deal with the mixed emotions and feeling of insecurity though effective single parenting.

In order to be an effective single parent, one must be more attentive and supportive of the young ones. A parent pay more attention to children and being more patient on them. Aside from the ones mentioned, single parenting could be more smooth-sailing if a parent:

- shows that he or she has enough time to tend to whatever the child needs, asks or demands. Experts agree that single parents that show that they have enough time to answer the inquisitions and grant the requests of children are more likely to have kids that are less insecure. This is because this kind of attention will make the child feel more important and can help them see things in a positive manner.

- always listen to what the child says. Kids who have single parents crave for more attention compared to those who live with both of their parents. So, it is a must for a single parent to have greater listening skills when it comes to children who love to tell stories and share their views. This can help the child develop the self-confidence he or she needs in order to deal with sadness brought by the separation of his or her parents.

- spends quality time with the child. Although single parenting will eventually takes its toll on you since you are doing all the work, this is not reason enough not to spend quality time with the child. If you do this, you are updated what's going on in his/her life. You can also veer away children from any form of depression because they know that they can count on you anytime.

Successful Single Parenting

Single parenting is one of the most common end results of a failed marriage. For many people, it might seem simple to start a new life and raise their kids after an ended marriage. However, for some it's difficult to achieve these because of so many factors. These would include their different personalities, upbringing of their respective families, and also of their ways in managing stress brought by the failure of the marriage.

Although separation may indeed affect people in raising their kids and to want more things in their lives, this should not be enough reason just to let the chance of living a better life go. If you think that separation and the thought of being a single parent hinder your process to move on, it's now time to consider ways that can help you overcome your fears and will pave the way for successful single parenting.

Focusing on the basics

Being a good parent is instinctive to all parents. However, this innate concern for their kids and raising them well may be affected by the events that have occurred in their lives. Their experiences also hinder them to focus on the needs of their children since they cannot help themselves to overcome their problems in life.

Although painful experiences such as separation greatly affect good parenting, there are always ways to overcome these problems and move on. The first thing that you can do is let the past go. Experts say that the first step to be an effective single parent is to deal with depression caused by separation. By learning to let go of the past, you can accept that there are things that are beyond your control. Once you have accepted this, you will be able to forgive yourself and prepare yourself in becoming a single parent.

Next best thing to do is to try to set your own pace. Although it is sometimes good for others to have fast recovery to be able to forget their problems, this is not always healthy says experts because it is only a "band-aid" solution. Many people who face the reality of becoming single parents try so hard to move on by drowning themselves in work. This may work but not for long term goals. Eventually, the person who tries so hard to face the challenges of single parenting becomes so tired and will lead to nervous breakdown. To be an effective single parent, it is best if you set your own pace so you won't get tired. This will also be beneficial for you because you can rest whenever you want to since nobody is breathing down your neck to do things you are not ready to do.

Lastly, the best way to be successful in single parenting is to always think one step ahead and be positive. Since you will raise the child on your own, it would be best to ahead so you will be able to accomplish goals ahead of time. By doing this, you will also have more opportunities to do things properly.